I hope you like the title. It’s a wee tip of the hat to anyone over 30 who watched TV during the 90s.
My So Called Life was an American TV show, staring the very young and brilliant Ms Clare Danes of (now) Homeland fame.
Its main theme was “teen angst” and spent every episode exploring all things “teenager”. This was great, when I was a teenager. Don’t get me wrong, Clare Danes’s life was nothing like me own. The North East of England in the 80’s and 90’s was nothing like LA, surprising at that may seem. But it was…relatable escapism. It had “universal themes”, such as love and family relationships.
I want to pitch an idea to TV land out there, I want a show that deals with Adult Angst! Where is that show? Where is the show that deals with how adulting is hard? There are splitter shows which seem to deal with elements of adulting, such as family life (Outnumbered) or single life (Girls, Sex and the City), but where is the one about how all of it is hard?
family+love+work+bills+expectations+OTHER PEOPLE = hard.
Miranda maybe comes closest to exploring how navigating grown up life is hard, but she’s a wee unique character in herself and her issues seem to stem from the fact that she is…well…Miranda. Plus it’s funny. It deals with angst in a humorous way, which is perhaps the only way to deal with it once you pass 30. There’s nothing enjoyable about watching a woman in her 30s slowly drowning in a vat of wine, whilst sobbing about lost loves. My So Called Life, however, was a drama, the angst wasn’t glossed over, it was meant to be relatable to what young people go though, how it’s “such a hard time”.
Maybe we do need the show where woman drowns in vat of wine sobbing over lost love, because loads of folk in their 30s would relate to that.
I here by give TV land permission take this idea and run with it. You can have it.
I just have one stipulation. Once it’s ran for a season, there needs to be a spin off, because, let’s face it, who doesn’t love a spin off?
My So Called Creative Life.
“But why, Jo?” I hear you ask, inquisitively.
Well, Dear Reader Chum, this spin off is needed to help creatives everywhere! My head is, quite frankly, mince. My bonce is done in. My brain is fried. My noggin is a bogging. And what has caused this complete mind melt? Not a super hero villain, like in the good ol’ days, nor has it been caused by a Vulcan (#propernerd), no no no. My heid is burst by trying to live a “creative life”.
In my sweet little dream life I live this beautiful creative life. I write, I illustrate, I host writing workshops in my beautiful home with added guest accommodation. I run, I do yoga, I meditate and practice mindfulness, I have dealt with a my money blocks. I’m loved by another creative soul and on windy driech days we make home made soup and bread together. At Christmas all our friends come to visit and we play games and go in long walks. We have lots of dogs but Poppy dog sticks closest to me and silently judges the other pups. Doesn’t it sound lovely?
The reality though, My So Called Creative Life is confusion and slog. I’m slogging away and thinking constantly about slogging at other bits and pieces that need slogged at. It’s not even meaningful slogging. I’m just doing stuff in the hope it gets me to where I want to be, that by sending the messages to the universe that this is what I want then it’ll bring it to me. Poof! Tada! Here I am Jo! Your magical wonderful life! Cooweee!
Maybe I should “trust in the universe” more? I have tried, I’ve got the books to prove it.
I’ve reached a point now where my brain is full and my to-do list is out of control. It’s like I’m on a bus making a shopping list but I’m terrified that I’m going to miss my stop and so I keep looking up and round and then losing the place on my list.
I keep thinking if I could just leave work and work at full time at writing then I’d get somewhere. But er… hello! bills need paying and food needs buying. So I’m stuck.
I feel like I’m swimming against the tide.
I know I’m meant to write. It is the only thing that feels right to me (well apart from the fact that I’m meant to adore and love the pooch, but that’s easy) and I know I want to be fit and healthy and loved and own a home of my own… but I have zero clue on how to connect the dots. How does one make a successful creative life when you are on your own?
I think I’ll just go play with the dog.